Addendum to a Previous Entry

Earlier I wrote a blog entry entitled "I'm Just Wondering" kind of as a vent of my frustration over the lack of availability of quality, simple toys. I just want to write to say that I have found some great toy stores that do sell quality toys.

Some of them are local to this area, just little shops in the villages tucked in and around the big trees and big houses of this great city. Another great store is called The Learning Tree that I also found tucked here and there around our area. I think it is more of a nationwide chain but it is still not one of those mega toy stores. It was quite a pleasure to look around in there. So, I don't feel quite so frustrated with the toy selection out there. Check out the Learning Tree and/or look up local toy shops in your area for a better selection than you will find at Target, Walmart and Babies R Us/Toy R Us.

Taylor's Table - Awesome Granola

I have tried different granola recipes that have been okay but not really keepers. However, I have now found a keeper! It is super easy, too. It is from Family Feast for $75 a Week that I checked out from the library in an effort to keep grocery prices down. The book has lots of great tips and many good recipes.

We like to eat this granola with yogurt, on our cereal (Cheerios and Shredded Wheat), or in our oatmeal.

Easy Granola (This is the book's recipe, halfed).

6 cups oatmeal

1/4 cup flour

1/2 TBS cinnamon - 2 tsp.

1/4 tsp nutmeg

2 cups of goodies (in the last batch I had a mix of 1 cup of sliced almonds, chopped pecans and sunflower seeds & a mix of 1 cup of dried currants, cranberries and chopped apricots).

1/2 cup of honey

1/2 cup of oil (I used light tasting olive oil)

1. P reheat oven to 325F. Grease 2-3 large baking sheets with cooking spray.

2. Combine oats, flour cinnamon, nutmeg & goodies

3. Combine oil and honey in 2 cup glass measuring cup. Microwave on high 2 minutes or until hot. Pour over dry ingredients & mix well.

4. Spread mixture over baking sheets; bake until light to medium brown, 15-20 minutes each - bake each pan individually for best results.

5. Let granola cool completely. Break up. Store in air tight container for up to 4 weeks.

ENJOY!

Streams in the Desert

Recently, to our great joy and delight and surprise, we were able to finally bring Wesley's adoption to a close. Naturally, whenever an adoption is finalized, the adopting parents and all other relatives are ecstatic but in this case words cannot express our relief and greatest joy because it was a contested adoption. The finalization brought to a close a six month journey of frustration, confusion, and fear about what would really happen in the end. It seemed like we were walking through a very dry desert. We could not bear to think of having to give Wesley up but at the same time we also had to think about it. Needless to say, God taught us a lot through the process. Here are some things in brief that put in our hearts as we sought His heart in the matter. These were streams in the desert for us.

1. Continually we felt the Lord asking, "Do you trust Me?" See, we had really felt that the Lord had led us to adopt after years of struggling through infertility and just because it was something that had been on our hearts for years, and for me, even while in high school and perhaps earlier. We prayed for God's timing to adopt, which agency to use, that God would guide the right birth parents to us, that the child given as a gift would be the one God chose for us. It seemed that through all the circumstances and decisions, we felt we had followed God. "Why then this unexpected struggle, Lord?" Repeatedly the Lord replied, "Do you trust Me? Or He would simply just say, "Trust Me."

2. We have learned through all of the roads of infertility and adoption and even with other situations and circumstances that we are not in control. Try as we might to have things work out the way we want, God has another plan, better than ours. It is good and we just have to let go and trust Him. (See #1) God does what He does beyond our comprehension, all for His greatest glory. We see now how much He was glorified in this in our lives and in the lives of others involved. We pray that continues.

3. Do what you feel the Lord is leading you to do even if it is the hard thing, isn't the normal course of action and doesn't make sense and the outcome isn't what you'd hoped and prayed for or even expected given that you thought that you were doing what the Lord wanted you to do and therefore the outcome must be in your favor. We did feel the Lord guiding us to do something very hard, that wasn't normal and didn't really make sense. In doing so we thought the outcome would have brought a positive answer for us given that the Lord had led us to do it. However, that was not the case, initially anyway. The adoption continued to be contested and we were crushed. We didn't understand why the Lord had led us to do this specific thing with all the anxiety it involved if it only brought about the same result. Again, the Lord said, "Trust Me." In the end, we clearly see how God very much used the route He lead us down to make a difference even if the result was quite delayed.

4. Related to that and all other points, God will display His power, love and glory by doing what only He can do. He certainly did this in this case.

5. Fight for what God has entrusted to you but hold it with an open hand. We came to realize how very much Wesley was/is a gift from the Lord. We knew this already but the reality of it became much more stark when we realized the gift could be taken away. And yet it was still a gift. We were given the responsibility to be good stewards of this precious gift and that too became much more real knowing that we might only have him in our arms a short time longer. We still had to be his loving parents for the time given to us to do so, to shower him with love and as stewards of what was entrusted to us, to fight for what we thought was good and right for Wes. And yet we had to realize that all things given to us are not ours really and are indeed never given with the promise of permanence except for salvation. As He has taught me about other things, even my own breath and life, we have to hold everything with an open hand, trusting that the Lord holds all things in His hands much more firmly than what we are allowed to hold and that He holds them forever. We can trust Him even when it doesn't make sense and it seems heart-wrenching to think we might have to let go.

6. As in other roads we've been down, He continues to teach us that God is enough. Nothing satisfies, nothing brings greater joy than the gift of His grace. He is enough for our sorrow and our hope, for our weeping and rejoicing. He gives us everything we need, and much more, and loves us perfectly although we in our imperfection, do not usually understand.

7. Also, we've seen how we have a faulty view of God and ourselves. I cannot really put this into words right now, it is something still formulating and digesting and will probably will be for all the days of our life as we continue to grow and learn more about God and ourselves in this fallen world.

8. Lastly, we've learned not to hesitate to bring those we love and who love us along on the journey as support and encouragement. The prayers and support of His people have lifted us up many times out of our sorrow and fear. We need each other desperately.

It is strange how, on the day we went to court in February, before we knew there would be a good outcome, that we both felt a peace. We were anxious, but there was a deep peace in knowing that God really was in control and that we really could trust Him. That only came by His grace and much, much, much wrestling and weeping and questioning.

If you're struggling through something, keep seeking. God will reveal Himself to you, perhaps in unexpected ways, but in fulfilling, satisfying ways that brings great unexplained peace beyond what you could imagine. He is faithful to Himself and to His people. You may not see the purpose of your weariness or even a good outcome but He will reveal Himself to you to be a good and loving Father, trustworthy and faithful, firmly holding you forever.

Two good books we've read are A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis and Streams in the Desert. C.S Lewis makes no bones about how he feels about his suffering and it is soul-healing to read how a godly, devoted man seriously wrestled with God in his grief. Streams in the Desert is a daily devotional that walks the reader through dealing with suffering, full of writings and hymns and poems from thoughtful, godly people of long ago.

Also, our church just did an 8-week sermon series on suffering leading up to Easter. It was very good! You can listen to it here - Suffering Series

Einstein Quote

Here is a great quote I heard on a PBS special on very elderly people. One man quoted this as part of his success in staying alive so long (most of these people were in their 90's and older1!) - keeping the mind and imagination strong. This encourages me because I love to create and imagine. I hope I never stop and can still keep doing so when I'm 90!

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

Go do something imaginative! :)

Books for Little Ones

Up, Down, and Around by Katherine Ayres (gardening)
The Fathers are Coming Home by Margaret Wise Brown
1,2,3, To the Zoo by Eric Carle
Head to Toe by Eric Carle
Sleepy ABC by Margaret Wise Brown
Little Cloud by Eric Carle
I Love My Daddy by Sebastien Braun (precious, precious, precious!!)
I Love My Mommy by Sebastien Braun (also precious!)
Whose Mouse Are You? by Robert Kraus
Counting in the Garden by Kim Parker
Planting a Rainbow by Lois Ehlert

Denise Fleming
Nancy Tafuri
Byron Barton
Sandra Boynton
Lucy Cousins

In the Tall, Tall Grass, Denise Fleming

In the Small, Small Pond, Denise Fleming

What About Bear?, Suzanne Bloom

Count!, Denise Fleming

Blue Goose, Nancy Tafuri

Goodnight, My Duckling, Nancy Tafuri

Maisy books, Lucy Cousins

Amazing Animals Series, Tony Mitton and Ant Parker

Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother, Too?, Eric Carle

The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, Bill Martin, Jr. and Eric Carle

Polar Bear, Polar Bear, Bill Martin, Jr. and Eric Carle

Panda Bear, Panda Bear, Bill Martin, Jr. and Eric Carle

Baby Bear, Baby Bear, Bill Martin, Jr. and Eric Carle

Counting Cockatoos, Stella Blackstone

Bear At Home, Stella Blackstone

The Cow Who Clucked, Denise Fleming

Barnyard Banter, Denise Fleming

All Things Bright and Beautiful, Ashley Bryan

What a Wonderful World, George David Weiss and Bob Thiele (Illustrations by Ashley Bryan)

Sleepy, Oh So Sleepy, Denise Fleming

Bear Wants More, Karma Wilson

Tip Tip, Dig Dig, Emma Garcia

Goodnight Gorilla, Peggy Rathmann

The Busy Little Squirrel, Nancy Tafuri

Faraway Farm, Ian Whybrow

Machines At Work, Byron Barton

The Three Bears, Byron Barton

Boats, Byron Barton

Trains, Byron Barton

Planes, Byron Barton

Trucks, Byron Barton

My Car, Byron Barton

Where’s My Duckling?, Nancy Tafuri

Little White Duck, Lyrics by Walt Whippo (Illustrations by Joan Paley)

If You Give a Moose a Muffin, Laura Joffe Numeroff

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, Laura Joffe Numeroff

If You Give a Pig a Pancake, Laura Joffe Numeroff

If You Take a Mouse to the Movies, Laura Joffe Numeroff

Who’s Awake in Springtime?, Phillis Gershator and Mim Green

Spring Things, Bob Raczka

This is the Farmer, Nancy Tafuri

Sleepy ABC, Margaret Wise Brown

Goodnight Moon, Margaret Wise Brown

The Runaway Bunny, Margaret Wise Brown

Big Red Barn, Margaret Wise Brown

Mama Cat Has Three Kittens, Denise Fleming

And the Train Goes… William Bee

Leo the Late Bloomer, Robert Kraus

Silly Little Goose, Nancy Tafuri

The Big Storm, Nancy Tafuri

Hurray for Fish!, Lucy Cousins

The House that Jack Built, Diana Mayo

We’ve All Got Bellybuttons, David Martin

One Little Seed, Elaine Greenstein

Color, Poem by Christina Rossetti (Illustrations by Mary Teichman)

Sandra Boynton board books (Barnyard Dance, Pajama Time, etc)

Poems and Rhymes

Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

A Child’s Garden of Verse, Robert Louis Stevenson

Counting Kisses by Karen Katz

Where is the Green Sheep? by Mem Fox.

We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury.

Jamberry by Bruce Degan.

The Mitten by Jan Bret

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? by Dr. Seuss

Go Dog, Go by Dr. Seuss

I'm Just Wondering

I suppose this could be a continuation of the things I've learned about being a mom but it is slightly different. These are just ponderings about things regarding children and their toys, clothes, books, etc.

Recently, as Wesley's first birthday approached, I've been looking around at stores and online for toys, books and videos. I confess, I came away from it a bit overwhelmed and frustrated. There are tons of things out there for kids and babies! Almost everything I looked at had tons of bells and whistles - 15 buttons which make 15 different sounds and then when you switch a button they make 15 more different sounds with ABC's and 123's, colors and shapes as well as blinking lights, horns, any number of things to pull, push and flop around. How much is a one year old really going to get out of all of this? Why do our toys have to be designed specifically for learning? Children learn so much just playing with simple things and observing the world around them. Anything we give them, whether it be a wooden spoon, a pan, a paper bag or the bright lights learning toys will help them learn. I guess I am not opposed to having one or two toys that have all the bells and whistles but it seemed that everything available was like that and would just be sensory overload for a little one to hear that all day long. Most of it just seems like a marketing ploy anyway.

The other day Wes was fascinated by our cd player. I let him play with it because it is old and he was so intrigued. After fiddling with it a while, tasting it every few minutes, trying to pick it up and turn it over, he figured out how to open it, pull out the cd, turn it over and put it back in. All I did was watch because I didn't want to wheels in his head to stop turning. There were no noises or blinking lights or recorded voice cheering him on. How much did he learn from this simple thing?!

Do these little ones really need all these toys, whether they are fancy or simple? Once again, I think back to Abigail Adams and her sons and daughter and to even just a generation or two ago. They didn't have all those high tech talking toys and gadgets but they cranked out some pretty smart offspring! I imagine John and Abigail Adams and Thomas Jefferson or even Plato and Aristotle and Shakespeare had very few toys at all, certainly not what we have, and they turned out pretty smart.

Are we doing justice to our kid's intelligence and their central nervous system with all these new fangled toys and books and videos? Of all the things Wes has, he will more often than not go to the simple toys like rattles, stuffed animals, pots, bags, balls, blocks, boxes, books, anything he can make "music" with and his little wagon.

I remember going to my grandparents house for a few days as a child. They didn't have much for us to play with, just some older riding toys and toys for the house and a few games. But we had so much fun there! We used whatever was laying around to build forts, make up games, and run around outside, exploring the woods, barn, cellar, pick and can vegetables and fruit from their garden, roam around in the garden, observing and inspecting, etc. Imagine the stimulation our brains were getting!

The other day I took advice from friends and from blogs I read about the accumulation of toys, to put away all but a few for a while. I did this and I am amazed! Before, Wes would play a bit and toss the toy and go on to the next or simply look at them all and then go stare out the window. It was too much for his little mind to take in. Now he actually plays with his toys. He still loves to stare out the window too though. I am sure he's learning a lot from that as well.

So all of the above lead me to another pondering. Why are we so obsessed with our kids being prodigies and learning their alphabet before they are 2 or even younger? Of course I do want Wes to be smart as any parent would, but I don't know that learning the alphabet when he's 1 or 2 will make him smarter when he's 5, 15 or 50.

Did you know that most kids used to not learn to read until they were 6 or 7 years old, at least? And at that age, they learned to read in a few days or weeks and could read novels very quickly thereafter. Most didn't start their formal education until much later than we do now. And yet, when they reached the age of 16 or 17, they could be fluent in Latin and Greek and were capable of achieving in a bachelor's degree what we might get in a Masters or Doctorate today! The entrance exam to Harvard in the 1700 hundreds was well beyond my capability and I have a Master's in history. I read over an 8th grade exam that was given in the 1890's and I would not have done very well.

I am all for exposing kids to grand things, to beautiful works of art and music, t0 literature, and books galore, of course. (My heart skips a beat when Wes fusses for me to read to him more!) However, in an effort to make kids smarter by exposing them to great things, all sorts of companies have sprung up that promote child smartness, like Baby Einstein. As I am sure you are aware, they play classical music or other styles in a way that is supposed to appeal to babies. However, I've found that Wes really loves the real thing! Imagine that! Why play Baby Einstein Mozart when he delights in the real Mozart? Why don't we expose them to the real thing? To real literature instead of books that contrive to make our kids smarter but are poorly written with bad pictures? Real music in all varieties? (Wes loves real bluegrass!) Real Art? Real Poetry?

I found a baby video series at the library called Classical Baby, produced by HBO, that has a video for music, poetry, art and dance. I checked out the poetry video and it was wonderful. It had famous actors reading famous poetry in full and in snippets to soothing animation and sometimes in song form. It was so soothing and captivating! Wesley loved it, too!

I hope I don't sound too negative in all this, these are just some things I've been thinking about and wondering. Perhaps you have some insight that I'm missing. I'd love to hear your thoughts too!

Below are a couple of links I thought you'd like.

http://frugalgranola.com/2011/02/simple-childhood-play/

http://people.moreheadstate.edu/fs/w.willis/eighthgrade.html

January & February at the Taylors

Just thought I'd give an update of what's been going on here, not in chronological order.

The greatest news is that we were finally able to bring Wesley's adoption to a close. Unexpectedly, but to our greatest joy, we were able to bring Wesley home on Thursday, February 24, 2011 from the courthouse as our forever son with all the full rights and privileges of a son by birth. Praise God for His mighty intervention and mercy! Thank you all so much for your prayers, love, phone calls, visits, letters and emails, hugs, tears and gifts of support and encouragement in this journey. We couldn't have done it without you! God has taught us many wonderful things in this process and so we are thankful for this exercise in trusting the Lord. (More about this in another post!) Precious Wesley Joseph, what a gift you are! We love you forever.

My sister came to visit and we had a great time. Sadly, the weather was kind of yucky - cold, snow, mist and fog but we were able to get out and do a little bit and just veg out. And above all, she got to share in our adoption shock and excitement! We are so glad she was here with us.

We've had a blizzard and piles of snow!!!

We celebrated Wesley's first birthday with family and lots of friends!

Also, we finally finished our bathroom! Hurray! It took 4 months and twice as much money as expected but we love it! Come and visit so you can enjoy it too! I still have to make the shower curtain. It is on my huge project list. But we do have one that works fine for now.

Before:

After:

We've also joined a small group at our church that we've really enjoyed and it is so close to our house even though our church is almost 30 minutes away. No pictures though.

And, this isn't that exciting but it has been good for us - We've been purging our house room by room, one weekend at a time, of what we really don't use or need, unless it has some real sentimental value. You wouldn't believe the pile we've accumulated just by cleaning out the basement, garage and attic. It is amazing to us that just three years ago we could fit all of what we needed or wanted in 4 suitcases and a couple of carry-ons and yet had plenty for a two bedroom apartment in a rural village in Lebanon, where for the better part of our 8 months there we really only lived in the living room, kitchen and bathroom (barely). How could we have so much now? And what is crazier is that we had a garage sale just before we left for Lebanon. And one the year before that as well. What is all this stuff!!!??? Where did it come from? Why did we think we would need what we didn't get rid of it before? I encourage you to do something like this. I think you might be amazed. Several things inspired this. I'll write another blog post about that, too. :) No pictures of this, yet. I will post one of all of our purge pile when we finish in a few weeks.