Lessons Learned As A New Mom - Part 3

5. Pick 5 or 6 really important things to you right now that you want to do with regularity and stick with those. They may change over time, or as you feel more comfortable, you may add some things, but for now get those done and if you have time for the rest, fine. Right now these things for me are: 1. Spending time with the Lord. 2. Loving my family - spending some time with them everyday. 3. Keeping down clutter - clutter stresses me out. 4. Making dinner at a decent time without rushing. 5. Wesley’s naps, which means keeping some semblance of a schedule. 6. Time outside and /or time with friends either on the phone, visiting or emailing.

6. Squeeze in time to get enough sleep and to do what you enjoy - This helps a ton! Often in the afternoon I need to stop and rest but I don't. I feel so much better when I do though.

7. Routines are important for all involved, and I highly encourage them. You need them and babies need them. To - do lists are wonderful and I highly encourage them also. Keep your routine and to-do list simple. If you find by some strange chance that you have extra time, you don’t necessarily need to fill it up with something else to-do. See #6!

Recently, I cut out a lot of stuff and it has been wonderful and freeing. I had/still have, a huge mound of projects to accomplish (and which continues to grow in my mind!) but I decided to put them on the back burner just to figure out life a little bit, like a season of stillness, and actually do some thinking without feeling like I am always behind and stressed because I still have “this much” left on my project list. So now I move through my daily routine, getting my simple to-do list done and then, as I have time, I work on ONE project. When I finish it, I work on the next. This is VERY hard for me! I tend to have 5 projects going at the same time and 5 more I am thinking up in m y head!

And, sometimes the routine and the to-do lists just need to be tossed for the day - literally, in the trash or crossed off in your head. Tomorrow is a new day. Unless absolutely necessary, don’t try to do tomorrow what you couldn’t do today. Then you will have two days of lists that don’t get done!

8. Relish in motherhood and enjoy your home, embrace simplicity in life - This is a beautiful, if challenging, season in your life, each season with your child. They really do grow up so fast! I have struggled with needing adventure in my life, feeling restless for years unless I’m doing something outrageous and sometimes dangerous. So, even though being at home as a mommy is at the very top of my list of things I’ve always wanted to do in life, it has been challenging to be content. Lately, God has been opening my eyes to the adventure of motherhood, to see the joy of each day rather than the monotony of it sometimes, to praise Him in all the small things. And despite my desire for adventure, I guess I am naturally a bit of a homebody. I know, I am a walking contradiction!

I do like to get out from time to time though. However, I find that getting out usually means something will be bought or planning up something in my head that will stress me out down the road. It usually means that I get distracted from what really matters like getting Wes to eat and down for a nap and being home in time for a peaceful lunch with Eric or getting dinner on the table at a decent time without rushing, or in general not stressing myself by putting too much in my day. To go along with what I said in #7, I find it necessary to cut out what isn’t necessary so that I can really enjoy this season and not see it fly by and/or live in it full of stress and disorder. Take time to listen to the wind blow, to watch the snowfall, to sing to your little one just because, to go for a slow, long walk with your little one just because you want to - not because you have to to get exercise. This is part of the adventure in this life with our Lord and part of your purpose as a Mommy.

Lessons Learned As A New Mom - Part 2

Here is the second part of my four part series on things I've learned as a new mom. I hope you find these encouraging.

3. Don’t compare your babies with other babies, negatively or positively - Love and accept your little one as is with big smiles, hugs and kisses and do the same for other babies too! Your little one is an individual valued by the Lord. He didn’t make the one you hold to be like you or Daddy, or if adopted, like their birthmom and dad. They are their own unique creation, with their own personality. There is no one else like him or her - never has been and never will be. Guide them, pray for them and love them as such.

4. Don’t compare yourself to other moms, negatively or positively - this has been a huge downfall of mine and mostly with moms that I don’t even know. I tend to compare myself with supermom bloggers who have x number of kids more than me and find time to write beautiful, encouraging and inspiring blog entries and books, run a B&B, keep a clean house, make & cook healthy, frugal menus, shop at co-ops, farms and various other places just for food, homeschool, volunteer, lead bible studies, have small groups in their home, declutter, march through each day with a routine they actually keep, bake bread, soak grains, grind their own grain, keep a garden where things actually grow and some even live on farms and do these things all while presenting a life free of stress and full of tranquility, joy and simplicity!!!!!! I don’t mean to sound like I don’t like the ladies who write the blogs I read. I think I’d be good friends with them and I have really learned a lot from them. It is my own fault for trying to compare myself to them or to be them.

Also, I’ve tended to try to be like Caroline Ingalls, Abigail Adams and Elizabeth Elliot’s mother wrapped up all in one in eras of time when life was far more difficult and isolating without modern conveniences and technology. I find myself thinking, “What did so and so do?” or “How did she do this?” Or better yet, “How do any of these ladies do any of these things???” “Why can’t I be like them?” Since then I’ve realized that what we see of these people (bloggers and historical figures) are mostly snapshots of a life or are written from what a child or neighbor or friend remembers or what historians can dig up. We can’t get into their brain to know what they really thought or felt. I would love to write a book about what Abigail Adams’ day really looked like, as well of other ladies who lived centuries ago, if it is possible to really find that information. They wrote letters to people. Abigail wrote thousands of letters, but she probably didn’t write about her laundry and how she couldn’t get Charles to take a nap or how she hated to clean dishes all day long, only to find a new pile a few hours later.

Summary: I am not any of these women. I have to move through my days as God made me, pursuing the life He’s desiring for me to live and be a good steward of that. I’ve had to learn to enjoy them, glean encouragement and wisdom from them and to stop comparing myself and instead value who God made me to be.

Lessons Learned As A New Mom - Part I

In this adventure of motherhood, I have learned several things about myself that I’ve been wanting to write down for future reference for myself and maybe as an encouragement to other new moms. There are 10 points divided into 4 posts that I will publish every few days so as not to overwhelm you with a super lengthy entry. I would love to hear you comments about your experiences and lessons learned from Mommyhood.

1. First of all, I usually don’t feel like a mother at all. I guess I thought there would be a different sort of feeling or aura that would come over me as I became a mother. For a while I felt guilty, especially since Wesley’s adopted, thinking I wasn’t bonding with him properly. Since then, I’ve talked to plenty of moms who have their own biological children, older than Wes, who feel the same way. Do you ever really feel like a mother? What does that mean exactly? Is it just something we make up in our head? Or dream about as little girls? Or see on TV? Hmm...

2. Second, through mothering, God has revealed areas of sin in my life that I was vaguely aware of before becoming a mother but that now are openly evident to me and convicting. I think God can use any and everything in all stages of life, single, married, with or without children to help grow a person toward maturity so I’m not saying you have to have children to be qualified for more growth and maturity. Through different stages of my life and through different experiences, God has peeled away and revealed layers of sin as well as revealed new aspects of His own character. The same is true for now. What I’ve noticed for the most part, is that Mommyhood (and all other ‘hoods’ of life - life in general) seems to require extreme selflessness, patience, humility, disciple, self-control and flexibility.

That said, I am learning what flexibility really means. I thought I was a really flexible person but quickly found out, as a Mamma that I was not. I was flexible if whatever was causing the flexibility coincided with how and when I wanted to do things! Babies don’t work that way, even Wesley, who as babies go, seems fairly easy. This in turn reveals my selfishness, my impatience and my desire to control all things! Booo... I also worry and obsess entirely too much about some things sometimes, while at other times I don’t at all when I probably should. The funny thing is that though I want things around me to be under control, I’ve learned through this past year that I lack a lot of discipline and self-control in my own personal life and can be just plain lazy. Mommyhood has opened my eyes to these things not just with regard to being a mother and taking care of Wesley but in many aspects of my life. I just have to thank God for His grace to be a mother to this little one and pray for the grace to help him grow into all that God wants him to be despite all my shortcomings.

A Natural Remedy

I do not claim to know very much about natural healing in the least. However, after some experimentation and casual research and accidental discovery, I think I've found a way to greatly lesson the length and hurtiness of fever blisters and canker sores.

Fever blisters are just dreadful! They hurt terribly and are so ugly. They feel like a volcano on your lip. I rarely get these but whenever we in stressful situations I watch out for them and usually am terribly disappointed but not surprised when they show up.

Well, not surprisingly, two popped up on my lips a couple of weeks ago. These were a bit different, they were on the inside, so perhaps they were not really fever blisters but canker sores, also brought on by stress. I also got a sore on my tongue and the roof of my mouth. :( On top of emotional strain, I had been doing a lot of baking for a tea I had, involving lots of sugar that I don't normally eat. So had my mother, who sent us a batch of goodies, and my mother-in-law, who brought a batch of goodies for Christmas. So here is what we had in the house - ginger snaps, fudge, a chocolate torte, snickerdoodles, white trash, turtles, graham cracker delights, a graham cracker cereal chocolate bar thing that we loved, a homemade batch of cinnamon rolls, and homemade Chex mix. If you know me well, you know that this is way more sugar than I ingest in a year, really! We started eating it and didn't quite until it was done. In the midst of eating all of this was when the sores popped up and boy did they hurt!

I pulled out a remedy I had tried earlier in the year and it worked again so I wanted to share it with you. I use Burt's Bees lip balm on my lips as often as I can remember, even on the inside, though I don't know how well it goes on. It needs to be the kind with mint. Also, this time around I drank mint tea a lot. It really helped to soothe it. Also, I eat a lot of yogurt when they pop up. And, almost the next day that all our goodies were gone, one of the worst sores was virtually gone, no doubt stopping all the sugar combined with the other remedies helped tremendously.

So, if ever you find yourself with one of those nasty, unwelcome visitors to your lips, get out the yogurt, invest in Burt's Bee's lip balm and pure mint tea, and stop eating sugar, at least for a while.

The picture is from this website - http://whatscookingamerica.net/mint.htm

A Blanket of Snow

The other day as Eric and I were driving to church, the Sunday after disappointing adoption news, a fresh covering of snow lay on the ground. The sun shone brightly and the day was just gorgeous except that it was 10 degrees outside. In the summer this place is so beautiful, one shade of green melts into another as huge trees grow into others and flowers bloom in beautifully landscaped yards and city squares. However, because there are very few evergreens here, winter is rather bare and gray. I've never really liked winter because of its bareness and chill, but as we rode through town, the soft blanket of snow warmed me to the season a little more. It truly did seem to cover up all that was ugly about winter.

I started to think about winter in regards to the seasons. I've always just viewed it as a season of deadness and dreariness compared to the others. Last year, as you all know, was the winter like no other. It snowed here so often and so much. We had snow on the ground continuously for a month, a short break and then for weeks again. The temperatures were bitter! Wind chills in the negative numbers. However, when the temperatures rose, the snow melted and life reawakened, the landscape was more beautiful and more green than ever. Plants grew like crazy! It seems that the snow acted to protect a lot of growing things from the bitter cold and served to water the earth when it melted.

In our lives we all hit seasons of great joy and amazing spiritual growth and sometimes life seems blah or dark and dreary and cold. Then there are some, like fall and winter that are a little of both extremes. As I looked at the snow laying so quietly on the ground, I felt encouraged that God's grace was like that snow, covering over us in these discouraging, dark days, protecting us in unforeseen ways, and that these hard days aren't just random days meant only for dreariness and frustration with no meaning but that they do serve a purpose, to promote the continuance of great growth in the Lord and for Him to exhibit His beauty in our lives, even in the midst of the winter seasons of our life.

We don't live in a world, spiritually speaking, where it is "always winter but never Christmas" like in Narnia before Aslan's victory. Christ did come in our spiritual winter to bring hope and life to our desperately needy souls. Though I don't like having to drive 30 minutes to church, I am grateful for that day's thoughtful drive and the beauty and hope and light that the Lord showed me that comes out of the deep darkness of a long winter and why I should rejoice even on the coldest, hardest days. Without winter, how could there be beautiful Spring?

O Holy Night

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Unusual Christmas Message

This Sunday in church the text was from 2 Pet. 3, a chapter about "The Day of the Lord," judgment day. Not the usual text read for a Christmas message. So here is how it fits...

For the last four weeks, the sermons have had to do with Advent, a time set aside for the anticipation of Christmas. The first week's topic was "Longing." The text was Psalm 40 where the psalmist cries out, "How long O Lord?" It is an acknowledgement that all is just not right with the world and in our hearts and the desire for them to be made right. The second week was about the "Promise" from God to reweave the fabric of society, to make all things right, to put creation back as it should be, to restore the relationship with the people He created. The third week discussed the "Arrival" of the King to begin to fulfill the promise. It was the inauguration of His kingdom, the setting in motion to make all things right, beginning with the hearts of man. Jesus was sent by God the Father as God the Son, from heaven, to walk with us as humans, to weep with us, full of sorrow because of our sorrow and our sin. He took this burden on Himself, dying in our place, to make us whole and make things right with us in relation to God. We don't have to prove ourselves or do things to measure up to Him. There is no way we could. He has done it for us. We are covered by His blood alone.

So, now we are up to the fourth week, "Anticipation." It is the idea that Christ will come to finish His work. He has been working, is working and will complete His work on the judgment day. His kingdom was inaugurated when he arrived on earth 2000 years ago; He will return to consummate His Kingdom and to have His day of reckoning for all that is not and has not been right. He will make all things right! So, though we may have looked on the Day of the Lord with fear, if we are followers of Jesus, living a life of repentance, then we have nothing to fear. It should be looked to as a day of rejoicing because it will be the completion of all that God has done to make things right that have been messed up by us. What hope is there in Christmas and in longing and the promise from God if there is no final reckoning to deal decisively with all the injustice in the world? Without the Day of the Lord, there is not climax to the plot, no resolution to the storyline. This is the exclamation point at the end of the entirety of the gospel story.

So how does this affect our lives? This anticipation for the consummation of the Kingdom should give us a deep passion for the Lord! A diligence, a focus, a clarity of purpose to set our hearts on the holiness of God, to let our lives be a reflection of that and to speak the whole gospel story. It should resize us so that God is the main character, not us. It should encourage us to examine our lives daily and live with a repentant heart, not to perform for Him but because He has performed and finished the work for us.

I've never much thought about the Day of the Lord and am a complete skeptic with regard to so many people trying to predict when the end will be and that we live in end times. As a student of history, I've studied how bad all of history has been. The things that started out good get twisted. Our present age is not the inventor of evil. It has ebbed and flowed throughout history, hidden for a time but still working and thoroughly heinous and obvious at times. Every generation thinks they are living in the end times. However, in light of certain things in our own lives, I've been confronted personally with the fact that all is really just not right with the world, our country, our laws, etc. No government is perfect, nothing is. We expect things to work with swift justice and they simply don't. It has forced me to long for the day when all of this mess will be made right forever, when there will be no more orphans and no more fight for them and no more hunger and starvation and disease and extreme poverty and slavery and human trafficking. This anticipation should wake us up to these things, all the injustice and wrong in the world, and to cry out to the Lord to see and hear and work and to seek to help soften the blows of our fallen world but with realization that only God will finally put an end to it all, that we are not the saviors to end all of this, it is not our burden to carry. Christ, the Holy Child, is the Savior and Coming, Conquering, Victorious King.

Come, Lord Jesus Come!!!