Tuesday's Table

I've been wanting to write for months and months about some of the things I do around the kitchen to make our cuisine more wholesome. Finally, I'm going to do it. I thought it would be nice to try to post something on Tuesdays. Now, if you know me, you know that doing something consistently every week is a bit of a stretch, so that is why I was less vague by saying "on Tuesdays" not "every Tuesdays." This is just an intro to the way we eat and why. I'll start posting recipes next Tuesday, hopefully.

Over the last several years, I've been trying to eat more healthy realizing that what I eat directly affects my health in many ways. For I while I had developed hypoglycemia, had terrible insomnia, recurring sinus infections and still do struggle with infertility among a few other things. In an effort to try to get rid of these things, I have tried a myriad of different foods and "diets" most of which made me feel worse.

A few years ago I came across an entirely different attitude in what healthy eating means. My friend introduced me the cookbook Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallen and the corresponding website westonaprice.org. In a nutshell, this book and way of eating is based on the research of traditional food ways of groups of people with extraordinary health all over the world. What it boils down to is eating food at its most nutritious in the least processed way possible. It encourages eating whole, natural, real food - no low fat, no fat, low carb, etc - since that would mean it has been highly processed. The idea is that food is more nutrient dense and nutrients are more easily absorbed when eaten as nearly as it is found naturally than any processed food. It encourages eating whole milk (raw is most desirable), whole yogurt, natural cheeses, real eggs, whole soaked grains, real broth and lots of it, soaked and roasted nuts, lots of lactofermented foods, lots of fruits and vegetables, the whole animal - organ meats included, especially the liver, and cutting out all kinds of processed sugar and sugar substitutes.

So, I've been slowly trying to work toward this end. These are the things that I've been incorporating more and more. We drink whole milk (not ultra pasteurized), eat whole fat yogurt, aren't afraid of eggs, I make homemade broth, I sometimes soak my grains, we've been trying to cut out boxed cereal in the morning and most boxed and canned foods. We still buy boxed pasta, canned tuna, salmon, pears, pumpkin, green chilies and tomato products. Getting rid of the cereal has been the hardest so far, because it is so convenient! I'm desperately trying to find an easy solution. We've switched to Rapadura sugar, the most unprocessed sugar available, and we try to use it sparingly. We also use only raw honey and real maple syrup. (This is like gold in our house). We use only butter, olive oil and coconut oil for baking and sauteing. In doing so, I feel much better and we hardly ever get really sick now.

My goal in all this is of course to eat whole, real food and to do so as cheaply, conveniently and as easily as possible. So these posts on Tuesdays will be the result of lots of research and trial and error and experimentation. I hope you find this helpful, tasty and enjoyable.

In His Rest

Every time we lay Wesley down for a nap or bedtime we pat him on the back or side for a few minutes to settle him. Lately, I've started patting some and then just resting a slightly firm hand on his back or shoulder or bottom to help settle him more.

The other day I was thinking about this with regards to our walk with Jesus. I know the Bible speaks of resting in Him and of His hand upon us. He wants us to rest in Him but so often I squirm and fuss and try to keep my eyes open so to speak. I think very often in my life God is gently saying, "Shh" to me and pushing a little more with His hand to make me rest in Him. The difference between me patting Wes and putting my hand on him and God's hand on us is that I don't stay there for his entire nap! However, God's hand is always upon us. He is so trustworthy and such a good, good Father. I pray that I won't fight against Him so much with my fears, worries, anxieties, complaints, fussing and my tendency to need to be in control of all things at all times. I think God is seriously trying to break me of that and to trust and rest in Him always.

Here's a song we sang in church a few weeks ago. The words are quite fitting for our life right now.

Petition - Anne Steele, Sandra McCracken, Chelsey Scott

"Give me a calm, a thankful heart,

From every murmur free,

The blessings of thy grace impart,

And make me live to Thee.

You raise your hand to still the storms

That rage inside my head;

Revive my heart with gratitude,

Love, quell my doubt and dread.

Give me a sure and rested soul,

From every fear relieved,

Thy Spirit's power and presence mine,

To ever comfort me."

The Black Purse

We are in the middle of a 30 day waiting period regarding legal protocol for Wesley's adoption. It is something that is required in many states these days but it sure is nerve racking! I thought that the 30 days started when Wes turned 6 months old on August 16 but actually it didn't begin until August 30. So for two weeks I was anxious for no reason and then I found out that the anxious period has to draw out even longer!!!! ARgggh! Wesley is such a precious gift and a sweet little guy. I can't imagine not having him. When we found out the time period was two weeks off what we had thought and that we had to wait that much longer, Eric and I were pretty crushed.

It seems like this spring and summer have dealt us some difficult blows and this added to the list. We've been desperate for godly fellowship in this time but it seems to be alluding us. We so miss the continuous wellspring of spiritual encouragement in Norman! So we've found a church that we really like though it is quite a distance further than we'd prefer. We were so pumped about getting involved in a small group from the church starting up next week very near our house. However, true to all the other little and large disappointments these last several months, yesterday we've found out that they have had too many people sign up for the groups. Now, this is not a bad thing at all! It is amazing that they had 475 slots and 600 people signed up! (this church is only 2 years old!) However, they had to give the slots to the people who had been going the longest. That would not be us. :( There is another option for us but it just delays that much longer what we've so much been longing for. So, we were even more crushed last night.

I don't mean to have a pity party. Per usual, God has really been so gracious to us in this time. He's been teaching me so much about myself and about Him. Eric and I have drawn even closer to each other. It seems God is just clearing away more weeds in our lives.

So where does the title, "The Black Purse" fit into all this? Well, just after we found out we had to wait longer for the 30 days to be up Eric said, "Remember the black purse." He didn't need to say anything else. Here's the story:

We had three days left in Lebanon in 2008. We were at the end of ourselves completely - not much left in our reserve. However, we had been given the opportunity to go back down south to visit the people we had come to love so much over the past 8 months. And then we visited a very poor area on the coast as a means to be a light to the community. It was a great time but nonetheless we were still exhausted, emotionally spent and ready to return to the US. We took a bus back from the southern coastal town to Beirut with our bags and other paraphernalia in tow, stopping to change busses half way through the journey. After traveling for probably almost two hours, I realized that I didn't have my tiny black purse. With all the other bags we were carrying, the black purse was forgotten. Forget the money and credit cards it contained - more importantly it contained my passport!!!! I could not leave the country without it. We had plane tickets and were virtually packed and we couldn't leave the country!

We made several different phone calls trying to figure out if we could find the purse. When those came up a dead end, we called the embassy to try to figure out what to do. It seemed that the process could take up to two weeks! Oh brother! I totally melted. I took a shower and cried and cried and cried.

However, when I got out of the shower I heard Eric trying desperately to speak Arabic with a guy named Mohammad. Turns out, when we changed busses, someone had found my purse when they got on the bus. They gave it to the driver who in turn gave it to the bus station office. In my purse, they found a doctor's bill that had the doctor's phone number on it. They called the doctor's office to get my phone number. The doctor's office gave them my number and so they called us!!! Would that ever happen in America? The people who found the passport realized that it would be pretty important for me to have my passport and wanted to get it to me! Amazing! All along we thought it would be found and confiscated for some back ally plot or something crazy like that - this is where your mind goes when you are absolutely out of everything in your heart, soul and body and you've been living in a politically tense country! This shows what most Lebanese people are really like even in a pretty radical city that is not too fond of America.

The next day one of our friends who could speak very good Arabic was heading to the city where we had changed busses and retrieved the black purse for us. Hurray! Everything in the purse was in tact along with the passport and the doctor's bill, which I have kept for memories. (There's more tied up in that bill than just getting the passport back). However, the black purse was quickly retired when we returned to the US. It rests in my closet. I can't seem to throw it away. Eric will not ever let me buy a purse so small ever again. I guess I have to agree with him.

The Black Purse was a lesson in trusting completely in the will of God when we have absolutely no control over a situation. God could have chosen not to let us retrieve the passport but I am positive there would have been a good story with that outcome as well. So now, whenever we find ourselves in a situation that we can't control, all it takes is a mention of the black purse to bring us to our senses about God's hand on our life and that we are in His hands. He's trustworthy regardless of the situation, regardless of the outcome.

Fresh Eyes and Random Thoughts

This is just a bit of rambling from some thoughts from a Bible study Eric and I have started.

Eric has had a heart while at work to reach out to anyone with the gospel. He feels very inadequate about this but he amazes me. Frequently he comes home telling me of great spiritual conversations he's had with coworkers who are seeking to understand who Jesus is and exploring the truth of Christianity. As a result of regularly talking to some of the guys he works with he decided to start a kind of Bible study. We started doing this several months ago and have met on and off each week since. We are reading through the book of John. Eric facilitates the reading and the discussion, asking some of the same general questions each week like, "What does the passage tell us about Jesus, about God, about man, and about ourselves specifically?" And, "As a result, if this is true, how are we to respond to what we've learned?" The discussion has been so good that we almost always go past the hour and a half we have allotted and have still only made it to the end of John 4.

Since I am of a bit older generation and have spent most of my life around believers in the United States (overseas I was mostly around nonbelievers but the cultures and mindsets were completely different). Spending time with these few "seekers" has opened my eyes more to the philosophy of life in today's world. I've read some about this but it doesn't compare to listening to these guys and gals think out loud. I recognize that they are only a few in a sea of many but I think they fit a different mold than what we try to put people into. In visiting so many churches in this area trying to get settled, we've discovered so many that cater to what they think people want to hear so they will come to church. However, according to our Bible study group, this is not what they want. They want to see real worship not entertainment. They are deep thinkers. They want depth of teaching about the Bible, not something that just makes you feel good about yourself. They want real, meaningful relationships and conversations in the midst of our text-messaging, facebook, twitter world. They want an avenue to ask hard questions and not be blown off. And they want people to be real in answering the questions, who can truthfully say, "I don't know." They want conversations with people who really know the Word but don't flaunt it. They want to see faith and truth played out for real, with humility - not with perfection - in those who proclaim to follow Christ, so that they stand apart from the rest of the world. They are super smart and know when they are being catered to.

It has been really refreshing and challenging to be around this group. Each week I walk away contemplating my own walk with the Lord based on some of the profound comments they've made. It has caused me to reexamine much of my heart and attitudes and actions. I've even started reading the Bible differently, trying to see it with fresh eyes and looking at it much more deeply, asking some of those same questions that Eric asks as well as pondering some of the comments and questions from the group. It has made a big impact on my walk with the Lord.

I've learned a lot about the simplicity of teaching the Bible and discipleship through this group and it has confirmed what we experienced in Lebanon. We've read so many books about discipleship and listened to many sermons on the subject. We've tried those methods and though there are good parts, it often feels contrived. In our experience in Lebanon and with this Bible study, the best kind of disicpleship is simply reading the Bible together, mulling it over together and sharing life together. The Bible speaks for itself and it tells us how to live the Christian life. We don't need anything else, except of course the Holy Spirit to guide us.

It has also shown us that people are everywhere who are open to the gospel, you just have to put yourself out there to start conversations and share your own life with people. In Matt 28:19-20, we are called to take the gospel to all nations including our own, including our coworkers and neighbors. Of course, I am not advocating not going to other nations, (if you know me at all, you know I would Never advocate not going to other nations!) just that where ever God has you is a mission field.

What has been so neat is seeing the Word read through fresh eyes. Each week I am blown away by the profoundness of their thoughts and discussion about life and the world and even Christian faith and Jesus and humankind that they pull out of a passage that I had NEVER thought of. One guy made a comment a while ago that has stuck with me, that I keep going back to and thinking about as I read things in the Word or watch others who say they are believers. He said in a sense, "If this is really what the Bible says it is and the Bible is true, then this requires everything of me; this would completely change everything, I would want to give everything to it." Exactly! I think so often we jump in with sharing the gospel with people wanting to have a quick positive response without giving time for people to contemplate the cost or really even explaining the cost in the first place. True faith is a sacrifice of your life, giving your life, surrendering your life and all your rights to everything over to the Lord, making him the ruler of your life willingly as a result of understanding the scope of what Jesus did for us. Our friend recognized this and you could tell it wasn't an easy thing to process, naturally. But he's also made comments about the peace he sees in it.

I was reading in the Bible this morning at the end of John where Jesus asked Peter, "Do you truly love me?" I liked what the notes in the margin explain in regards to love and it fits perfect with our friend's comment on counting the cost. To "truly love" refers to a love in which the entire personality, including the will is involved. We give up our own will for His because we truly love Him, because He truly loved us. This is in effect what our friend was saying. And he didn't even have the notes! Isn't it beautiful and at the same time challenging to see the Word through fresh eyes and to see the Holy Spirit working so marvelously?